One of the greatest challenges I am facing as a single mother isn't the solo parenting, the going to school full-time, feeling like I never have enough time with my little man, and baby daddy drama. It is all hard. Don't get me wrong. The most challenging thing to date is living with my parents.
Now, I appreciate everything my parents have done and are doing for me and the little man. I'm very grateful but sometimes living with them is hard. There were no ground rules when I packed up everything and moved here. There was no talk about how long we would be staying. There was no talk about money and where I would get money from. It was just an unsaid thing that this was taken care of.
I felt welcomed and loved at the time. Over the months that feeling has faded. Now there are long drawn out fights over money, the mistakes I have apparently made in life, who is the one really raising Gage and how he is being raised. I don't want to be dependent on them it makes me feel worthless on top of everything else I'm already feeling. Let me tell you guys we have some issues.
I know that living with them things will only get more complicated and that my parent's judgment will become harder to live with. What happens when I start dating? Sex? Issues regarding Gage we haven't even touched? In some ways it is almost like being a teenager all over again but this time there is my son in the picture. I guess the question that comes across my mind the most is how much say do they get in my decisions when I'm still financially dependent on them?
This post isn't to bash them, though. They are pretty amazing people that have helped me when I needed help the most. I know this situation isn't easy for them either. We have issues that we need to work out. Hopefully, this doesn't break our relationship.
Monday, November 2, 2009
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6 comments:
I can't imagine how hard that has to be. I love my parents and they are great people, but I know that if something happened and I had to move back home with my kids, things would be rough. They tend to judge too much, assume things, over-analyze every decision Joe and I make and we aren't even living with them. It drives me crazy. I'm sure being financially dependent on them would make it worse. I hope things don't get too bad for you.
I can't imagine how hard this most be for you right now. I think a good talk between you and your parents needs to be done. There is no questionhow much theylove you and your son, I think comunication is the key. Good luck!! About the purses...let see, I am trying to save money for the holidays, I am also a single mom.
Keep your chin up! What about sitting down with your parents and clearly discussing all the things that you mentioned you didn't discuss? Set up boundaries and allow them to do the same. The road isn't easy right now, but one day it will be so much better. I keep telling myself the same thing. Love ya!
Agree with Ashley that you need to talk to both parents at the same time and set the ground rules. I can give you my perspective of having a soon to be 25 year old living at home, dependent on me for his care (though he is in school). My house is not a bed and breakfast, he (as in all the sons) needs to pull his weight around here and do chores. Doesn't matter that they are grown. They live in my house, eat my food, and yes, I give them money when times are tight. It's only right that they help out including mowing grass, fixing dinner when I have to work late, doing some laundry and light cleaning, and running errands. Doesn't mean that things can get dicey here, but it does help them knowing what I expect from them since they still live at home.
I lived with my inlaws for the first year of my marriage and then with my parents for 6 months after that so oh yes I can tell you it is hard. Definitely like being a teenager again but so much more complicated. And while my relationships with both sets of parents struggled while we were there, I can assure you there was no permanent damage. We moved out when my son was 1 1/2 and got our first place and our relationships with our parents are good once again.
So my point is, when you are ready and you can afford it (probably after you've graduated from your beauty school and landed a job, by all means get your own place. But I don't think anyone will have to tell you twice. :OP
I haven't ever had to live with my parents, but I fear it. I LOVE them. They are AMAZING, but any time you go back home, you are the kid again. Hang in there, Meck!
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