Good, Bad, And Ugly

At least once a week(but usually more) someone makes the comment that I drive pretty far to get to work from where I live. It definitely isn't right down the street. I have to leave a little earlier and I get home a little later than most of my coworkers.

I'm okay with this.

The drive is Meagan time. The drive is thinking time. The drive is praying time. The drive is singing loudly time. The drive is just nice before the craziness of the work day starts and before the night time rituals of the house start.

Lately, I haven't been singing loudly in my drive. In fact, I sometimes don't even turn the music on. The drive has been used for much needed thinking time. I've had a lot to think about lately. My life in its current state, my future, the what if's, the could haves's, and the should have's. Most of the time even by the time my drive is over I still haven't finished what is swirling around in my head.

The good news is I get to do it all over again the next day.

Eventually, I will figure it all out.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Over time

Years from now I might not remember exactly what happened today. I might not remember what happened yesterday or the day before. Next week. Next month. Those times build up, though. The little things become a big thing after some time.

I might not remember exactly what me and my boyfriend did on our dates. Over time I will only remember we have went on lots of dates. I will remember how wonderful they felt. I will know that they built our relationship into something bigger.

I might not remember all the fun things I have done with my son. All the little things. All the big things. Over time I will just remember the fun as a whole. I hope that is what he will remember, too.

I don't necessarily want to remember the bad things in my life. They are apart of life, however. I don't want to remember the pokes, prods, and tears. I don't want my son to remember that either. Over time I just want him to remember that I was there for him.

Over time, the little things we do each day might fade away but they become so much bigger.

Spring

Today is the first day of Spring. I have to say I'm really excited about its official start more than I have ever have been in years past. It is probably because this has been a long icy winter and I'm over it. Just over it.

I'm craving rain and flowers, sandals and pedicures and walking outside and not needing a heavy jacket.

The first day of Spring sounds refreshing.

I'm enamored with Spring already and it has just started.

Dandelion

If I was a plant I think I would be a....

A dandelion.

A weed but a very pretty one.

You can try to get rid of it but it keeps coming back. It is strong and doesn't give up. It is pretty. When you see a field of yellow dandelions, you don't see weeds you see pretty yellow flowers. When the dandelions are whit they are just as pretty and are ready to begin the process again. Dandelions are useful. You can eat them. I never have before but you can. You can boil the leaves of a dandelion. They are good in a salad, supposedly. You can make tea of out them. You can make wine out of them. That is more up my alley. Dandelion wine. That sounds excellent. They have lots of vitamins and are quite healthy. It can strengthen the whole body.

Yep, I would definitely be a dandelion.

And Now I Owe Myself Twenty-Two Dollars

Sometimes I don't even plan to do some of the goals on my list. Sometimes they just happen.

Driving around, it dawned on me that it was Pi day! 3.14. There is only one day to celebrate that day! Eat pie! It also happens to be a goal on my 101 list. I would have loved to make a pie to celebrate the day but I had to settle for getting a hershey sundae pie from BK. It was delish...

On the same day, I was at the mall with my loves and we walked by a photobooth! One of my goals is to do a photobooth picture!  Of course, we did it! I love photobooth pictures. You can strike quite a few poses and you have a sweet souvenir to always remember.

and now I owe myself 22 for completing 2 goals!

Searching

I was searching in my room for something that I couldn't remember where I put it. It had been so long since the last time I used it and I'm not the most organized person, anyway. I didn't actually have to search very long. Thank God. Yes, Thank you, God. I was searching for my bible...

A sad thought passed over that it had been so long since I have seen my bible that I had no clue where it was but a happy thought washed over the sad one quickly. I needed my bible and I found it right away. There is probably something amazing in that. I needed my bible because the next morning I was heading to church.

I haven't been to church in years. I haven't used my bible in years. I haven't been the best Christian in years.

For not being a morning person, I woke up excited but nervous on Sunday morning. Excited and nervous to go to church years after not going. Excited and nervous at being at a church I had never been to before. Excited and nervous to FEEL that feeling(or not feel it) that I use to get at church. 

Excited and nervous, definitely.

I had been searching for my bible that Saturday night but I had been searching for something else much longer.

I think I found that again, too.

Gift Shop Book

I'm a sucker for gift shops. I know that most of the things in there are nothing that I actually need but I can't help myself. I get sucked in. I totally needed little porcelain bird salt and pepper shakers, the record player that has Christmas music, the frog squirting water, the pens, notebooks, books. Oh my. They are all scream at me to buy them or at least admire them.

One book in a gift shop recently caught my big blue eyes and I had to have it. It was a cutesy book about love and I was on a date. I just had to have it.

Me and the boyfriend read this book together. I read a few pages and then he read a few pages. It was so strange that everything we read it was fitting for us to read it and not necessarily the other way around. I don't know how that was possible at all but it was really beautiful reading the book together.

Reading a book together just so happens to be one of my 101 goals on my list. I didn't actually mean read a book together like we did. I kinda thought we would pick a book and read it separately and talk about it. Very strange that we did this goal totally...by the book.

This just made me love and appreciate gift shops even more. You never know what you are going to find.