I thought the weekend would defeat me. I thought it would crush me and I would be a sobbing mess by Monday. I'm not, though. In fact, I almost feel the opposite of that.
I feel strong.
And I feel sad...but not for myself. I feel sad for certain people in my life and others like them.
This weekend I was made to feel less than. Basically, that I was not good enough. That my past defined me. That my present didn't meet their standards. That my future would never amount to much. It wasn't put so blunt but I can read between the lines.
And the one person who should have defended me and supported me...didn't. They faltered. They doubted. They are probably still confused and torn as you are reading this.
Let me tell you something...I am good enough. I deserve to be treated better. I deserve so much better. We all do. You, me, her, him, and them. We all deserve better. No one should EVER be made to feel like I did this weekend.
I have made mistakes. Who hasn't? That is life. You learn from them, you move on, and hope not to repeat them again. My mistakes don't define me. My mistakes are guiding me.
I am the woman who is striving to be a better person every day of her life.
I feel really sad for people who expect everyone to fit in a perfect little mold of what we should be like. They are missing out on so many amazing people. It really hurts me to the depths of my soul that there are people that have the appearance of being good, loving, and righteous but they have no room in their hearts for anything that is different.
I feel really sad for the people who just follow in their footsteps without questioning.
You know who I don't feel sorry for? Me. I am Meagan. The mother of Gage. The hair stylist. The woman who at almost 28 still lives with her parents. The payer of her own bills. The book lover. The shopping enthusiast. The best friend. The listener. The woman who wants to go to church but never does. The strong one. The weak one. The supportive one. The loyal one. The person who forgot it was your birthday. The random gift giver. The tickler of tiny toes. The mommy who is sorry she yelled at you. The movie watcher. The reality TV junkie. The car singer. The dress wearer. The sock hater. The caring one. The person with a good heart.
The person is so much more than she could ever list.
I am Meagan. I will always be Meagan. I've never pretended to be anyone else. I keep it real.
My life isn't always perfect. Things might not always turn out the way I want it to. I might stumble from time to time.
My life is lovely, though. Every mistake. Every blessing. It is mine.
I am good enough.