Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Not My Scene

I leaned against the bar and sipped on my Sam Adams. Trying to take in the scene around me. I didn't know what I was getting into. I won tickets to see a very different type of music than I usually go see. I decided to go anyway and by myself at that. The people that were pouring into the venue were quite different themselves. They were wearing belly dancing like outfits with glowy light sticks twirling around them. I wondered where their jackets were as it is only 30 degrees outside and I was cold in my tissue thin turtle neck from JCrew and my lace printed leggings from Anthropologie.

The people watching was definitely amusing. If nothing else I was entertained by that. I looked over to my left and there he was leaned against the bar sipping on his bourbon. I've seen him in this exact position doing the exact thing many times before. He had this cool way about him. It might be his shaggy dirty blonde hair almost covering his eyes and his long legs crossed at the ankles. He just looked comfortable by himself leaning against the bar. I just looked awkward doing the same thing.

He threw a smile at me like I wasn't a stranger and I'm not a stranger to him at all. I haven't seen him in almost a year. I've barely spoken to him in that year as well. He left his perch by the bar and walked over to me on my end of the bar and just casually said hi while flashing yet another smile. He tried to small talk with me but his eyes said something completely different.  I knew I was in trouble. Not in a dangerous trouble in the way that he was going to hurt me. It was in a flirty way with intentions of wanting more from me tonight. Things may be bad with my love right now. I don't know what's going to happen between us but I knew that nothing can happen with this dirty blond headed boy beside me because my heart definitely belongs to someone else.

I decided I need to clear my head. I walked outside to get some air. All around the people were talking to their friends while smoking and they were having the time of their life. I was just feeling uncomfortable and more uncomfortable they were talking about drugs doing ecstasy and shrooms and many more things that I have no clue about. I don't do drugs. The headliner hadn't even performed yet. I had only seen 2 opening acts but I was done. The scene around me was definitely not my scene.

Without going back inside to say goodbye to my old friend I just walked across the parking lot, got in my car, and started to drive home. I was uncomfortable and I left uncomfortable situation. My heart just knew that that wasn't the place for me to be at.

It's really good to branch out sometimes, learn different things and experience new things, but sometimes the new thing just isn't the thing for you and sometimes even the old thing is really not for you either.


  1. Cannot even explain how much I can relate to the end of this.
    That is so strong of you to just get up and walk away, because sometimes in situations like that it is really really hard to to do!

  2. Yup! I like to try new things but if I'm not comfortable, I will not stay and do the new thing.

  3. I feel like I get this, that in between place where we are finding our way and not quite there yet. It reminds me a little of a song I just discovered: Some Roads Lead On by Della Mae.